Parenting Tips: Break the Cycle of Trauma with Your Teen

As a child of South Linden who tragically lost a nephew in a violent incident, Miguel “Geno” Tucker understands the potentially devastating impacts of trauma. He’s devoted his life and the organization he founded, Remember Us Urban Legends, to mentoring youth and teaching valuable job and life skills so kids see a positive future for themselves. 

Geno points out that engaging urban teens requires empathy and a deep understanding of trauma.

Almost two-thirds (64%) of US adults experienced at least one traumatic incident as a child, and just over one in six (17%) endured four or more traumatic issues. 

And trauma can cause long-term negative effects on a child’s mental and physical health. It’s been linked not only to higher incidences of depression and anxiety but also to chronic health issues such as high blood pressure. 

Think of trauma as the dark echoes that can result when kids witness or experience violence, abuse or neglect, lose a loved one to suicide, are exposed to addiction and mental health disorders or deal with family instability due to divorce or incarceration. 

One common error that Geno sees through his work is how caregivers sometimes default to poor parenting practices because that’s what their own parents taught them. He notes that these intergenerational behaviors can actually widen the disconnect and push teens away.

Further, parents sometimes have never addressed their own trauma and they unconsciously allow it to influence their decisions. 

For all of these reasons, parents may unintentionally contribute to the challenges teens face, rather than guide the young people in their lives to good decisions that help them realize their full potential. Geno recommends that all caregivers learn more about positive parenting, either from parenting classes or other resources like his organization.

Urban youth can be “masters of whatever craft they want,” says Geno, because they learn skills and resiliency living in urban environments. 

He knows that kids have great undiscovered talents and the ability to achieve their goals. However, youth are more likely to do well when they feel supported at school, at home and in the community. 

He sees that it’s everyone’s job to embrace and champion children. When we do, teens, will want to do more with their lives and will thrive and succeed.

Learn more about Remember Us Urban Legends at www.ruurbanlegends.org.